Memories of a life that's been loved
by wondercheryls
Summary: Antoinette Topaz, a successful business woman had been keeping a painful secret from her wife, Cheryl. What she didn't know, of course, was that her wife already knew all about it, and was ready to confront her. Is forgiveness for everyone? A story that may or may not break your heart. You just have to be strong and patient.
1. Chapter 1

**Memories of a life that's been loved**

A Choni fanfiction.

Chapter one: I'm not the only one

**Relationship: **Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz

**Summary: **Antoinette Topaz, a successful business woman had been keeping a painful secret from her wife, Cheryl. What she didn't know, of course, was that her wife already knew all about it, and was ready to confront her.

Is forgiveness for everyone?

A story that may or may not break your heart. You just have to be strong and patient.

Cheryl Blossom slowly brushed her long and red hair, trying her best to untie the morning knots without making herself hurt, as she stared at the broken woman she no longer recognized in the mirror. A tear soon slipped down her rosy cheek, leaving a blurry trace of its prescence behind. Her hazel eyes had once been beautiful, she knew that. She still remembered those times when they were bright and happy and not in constant sorrow or pain.

Oh, how beautiful they used to be, before everything had drastically changed.

She took a deep breath before she opened the curtains of her bedroom, revealing a sky full of clouds on what was now the third grey day of the week. A storm would not take long to come out, as thunders could already be heard across the city. Maybe it was a good thing. As much as she hated storms, she had always loved how they washed everything up. Streets, cars and houses always looked brighter after it rained, making it all seem fresh and renewed.

But really, everything always stayed the same. Misery was the one thing the rain could not erase.

_Remember who you are, Cheryl. _She told herself for the second time in the morning. _Don't let sadness bring you down. _

But it was_ such_ a difficult thing to do. Especially when she had to wake up to the cold, empty bed she shared with the true love of her life: a woman who, as she was sure, didn't love her anymore. And God knew it hurt like heaven. How could she not let sadness win, when it had been all she had known for months?

The tea kettle suddenly started making that horrid sound Cheryl despised, succesfully getting her out of her own thoughts. She quickly grabbed a mug from one of the shelves above the counter, pausing for a few seconds to stare at it. It was Toni's_ favourite _mug in the world, as she liked to call it herself. The vivid memory of her wife hugging and kissing her the second she gave her the mug she had bought for her during their very first trip to Paris, suddenly made her smile. Genuinely smile for the first time in a very long time.

But it was just a memory. If she was still smiling, it was only because of the memories she held in her mind.

Oh, what would be of Cheryl Blossom, if she ever forgot?

Taking a seat on the red, chesterfield couch -the only object she kept from Thornhill- by the costume shaped window of her Riverdale mansion, she had the first sip of her cinnamon flavoured tea, feeling right away how her wire-framed glasses steamed up helplessly, making it impossible for her to see through the lenses anymore. Sighing to herself, she removed them from her face and placed them carefully on the coffee table, next to one of the books she was currently reading.

The truth is, Cheryl had always hated the way her glasses steamed up every time she had a nice cup of tea or a warm bath. Unfortunately for the redhead, those were her two favourite self-comfort treats. And she was almost completely blind without her glasses. Still, she smiled, suddenly remembering that time when she was no more than a little girl and her mother had taken her to see the optometrist for the first time. She was nervous at beginning, feeling like there was something wrong with her. But then, the second she walked out of the doctor's office wearing her brand-new pair of glasses, being now able to see streets signs, traffic lights, words and faces with much more clarity, she felt truly amazing, as if nothing could stop her anymore. And her mother smiled back at her. Oh, how could she ever forget the memory of her mother smiling back at her?

Of course, those were the times before Penelope Blossom had completely lost her patience. Because after the numerous visits to the optometrist, then came the multiple visits to the cardiologist in order to treat Cheryl's asthma complications and attacks, and then came years and years of speech therapy due to the young redhead's severe stammering problems. So, her mother basically stopped smiling at her as often as she used to and, instead, started to constantly criticize her, telling her off for not being 'normal' like the rest of her family or the kids her age.

The rain quickly began to fall, bringing Cheryl back to reality, forcing her to realize that there was no longer a smile on her face. Staring through the window, she finished her cup of tea, feeling a little better already. But who was she trying to fool, she knew that by the end of the day she would have poured herself more than one glass of wine, and probably whiskey too, because the ache in her heart would be back soon and, that night, it was definitely going to hit her harder than ever. After weeks and weeks of pure doubting, Cheryl was finally ready to have the _talk _with Toni. But yet she needed to gain the last bit of courage, 'cause she well knew what was coming to her, and it was anything but beautiful.

The evening passed by painfully slow, and the rain never stopped falling. It only got stronger, if anything. Sitting on the edge of her bed, Cheryl patient and nervously waited for Toni, but she was still nowhere to be seen. However, the redhead was no stranger to it, not after all those times she stayed up late, often with tears in her eyes and a bit of hope -which later became a pain in her chest impossible to control-, waiting for Toni. But the brunette hardly ever showed up and not until the morning, when the sun slightly brightened the room through the curtains and their bed became colder than ever before.

Unfortunately, after days and nights of waiting and overthinking, Cheryl had learned to appreciate all the things she had lost. Never in her life Cheryl would have thought that she would miss the smell of the fresh, homemade cupcakes that Toni baked for her in the morning, the sound of her voice when she came home or even that feeling of protection she got whenever her wife laid next to her in bed, asleep to the core, but still, by her side.

Oh, how Cheryl Blossom missed having her by her side.

And so, some rebel tears started to stream down her face as she poured herself a glass of wine, but she quickly wiped them away. Toni would be back any minute and Cheryl did not want her to see her crying. Or at least not so soon, because the redhead knew it was going to be a long night and she just had to stay strong; it was all she could do after all, but she was a woman so easy to break.

She spent a few minutes playing with her thoughts as she stared at the raindrops in the window, wondering why the brunette was taking so long to come home…pretending that she didn't really know the answer. But she _knew._ Oh, Cheryl Blossom _knew_ the reason why.

She was not the only one.And it broke her heart in a thousand pieces.

Her heart picked up speed when she heard the sound of the entrance door being opened, followed by some keys being thrown onto the coffee table. She swallowed hard, as if she had suddenly forgotten how to breathe. Her hands quickly started to shake, becoming more and more clammy as the seconds passed by. Toni was now home and she had no idea what to do or say.

"_Cher_?" She heard Toni calling her from across the hallway. The redhead had longed to hear her soft voice calling her name for days, so why did it not feel right? When had it stopped feeling right? _"Cheryl baby, I'm home"_

"_Don't you call me that"_ Said Cheryl coldly, her voice sounding tired and broken as she watched how the brunette slowly entered the bedroom, looking like she was asking for permission. _"Don't you dare call me 'baby'"_

"_What's going on?"_ Asked Toni, clueless about the redhead's mood and sudden change of behavior. _"Is there something wrong?"_

Cheryl sighed before turning her back on Toni. She just could not look into her eyes anymore. It was too painful for her to handle, especially when she remembered the exact brightness those eyes used to have, and how they would never lie to her. But they were dead now, no longer honest.

Knowing that more tears would come out any minute, she finished her glass of wine. Outside, the rain got even stronger.

"_You know… my whole life I've been called stupid…" _Cheryl started, nervously passing the cup from one hand to the other as she talked._ "I've been pushed around, humiliated and ridiculed. But this, Toni?" _She quickly turned around to face her, careless about the tears in her eyes or the way her voice hardly remained strong. _"This just has to be the biggest insult"_

"_But honey, what are you even tal…"_

"_I know about it, Toni. I know there's someone else in your life." _Cheryl interrupted her, rubbing her forearm as she tried her best to not look away. _"Do you think I buy those tales of you going for a jog at night? Of you working late? Of your 'business' trips? Come on, I've heard you getting home in the morning, smelling like alcohol and cigarettes. I'm not deaf, or stupid whatsoever. But you thinking I am… that's the biggest insult."_

Toni stared at her without knowing what to say or do, completely frozen in place. In other times, Cheryl would have told her that she looked as if she had just seen a ghost, and then she would have laughed. But those times were far gone and all she had now was that dark present that apparently would never stop getting worse.

"_I…"_

"_Is it me, Toni?"_ Asked Cheryl, removing her glasses from her face since her tears had steamed them up. Her face had never looked sadder. It broke Toni's heart in a half. _"Do I just not make you happy anymore?"_

Toni swallowed hard at her wife's words as some tears began to form in her eyes. She hated herself in that moment, realizing how stupid she had been to hurt someone as pure as Cheryl. How ruthless. She had made the biggest mistake of her life, pushing her wife away to let that other woman who was not worth it in. But it was in the past and she knew it. God damn she knew it, but Cheryl didn't and she would neve believe her, or at least not in that moment. Why would she, though? She knew she had fucked up and the redhead had every reason to be mad at her. But still, Cheryl seemed more sad than angry, and it broke her heart and made her weak in the knees.

Cheryl Blossom would never forgive her.

"_Cheryl, you are the love of my life. You still are, the only one."_

"_If you love me… then why did you do it? Why did you go after another person?"_

Toni closed her eyes, allowing all her tears to stream down her cheeks. She hated the fact that she had to explained herself, that she actually had a reason why. Taking a deep breath, she started walking towards Cheryl, getting closer to her. But when she tried to reach for her hand, the redhead rejected it, looking away.

"_I was lonely, Cheryl. You pushed me away for months when Penelope died. I want to be there for you, to comfort you, to give you as much love as I could, but you kept pushing me away…"_

"_My mother had died! I pushed you and everyone away because my mother had died"_

"_You hated your mother!" _

"_That for sure didn't make it any less painful!" _Realizing they were now shouting at each other, Cheryl tried to calm down, placing her empty glass of wine on one of her shelves by the window. She quickly wiped away the tears from her eyes, even though she didn't care about them anymore. "_I still needed you to be there for me, even if it had to be through the silence. I still needed you to hold me thigh at night, to share a bed with me, to make the mornings warm... But you failed."_

"_Baby, I…"_

"_Don't fucking call me that, Ant-t-t-toinette T-topaz"_

The redhead covered her mouth in surprise and quickly turned around, feeling embarrassed. Silence appeared in the room, creating a tension that could have cut anyone like a knife. Toni stayed silent for a minute, too shocked to ignore what had just happened: Cheryl Blossom had stuttered for the first time in ten years. Or at least, in front of her.

"_Cher…you…"_

"_I k-k-know…it's not the first time that h-happens. It´s been back for a little while now." _Said Cheryl looking through the window, too ashamed to turn around. _"It's my n-nerves, I guess." _

"_Tell me it wasn't my fault. Please, tell me I did not make you stutter after all those years of progress." _

But Cheryl didn't say a word, letting silence speak for itself. Then she crossed her arms.

"_I want you out of the house, Toni. I don't care where you go, I don't care who you go to. I just want you out. I w-won't be able to deal with this if I have to look at your lying, cheating face." _The redhead said, slowly turning around, putting her glasses back on. She sniffed, pushing them up the bridge of her nose. _"Don't call me, don't write me, don't try to reach for me. I n-n-need my time and space. That´s the only way I´ll know if I can f-forgive you." _

"_Cheryl…"_

"_Get out, please." _She pointed at the door with her sight glued to floor, not daring to look at Toni in the eyes. But she was sure of what she was doing._ "I'm done with this conversation. Have a good night and life, Antoinette T-topaz." _


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter two: The day Cheryl Blossom the wonderful Toni Topaz_

_1997._

Sighing to herself, seventeen-year-old Cheryl Blossom stared at the small clock on the wall, relieved to find out that there were only ten minutes left before her shift at Pop´s was finally over. Morning had never moved slower, and it had been a rough one for her; two of the only three waiters had called sick, saying that they would not be able to make it to work. Now, that was definitely not a problem, everybody knew that if they were feeling ill, staying at home was the best thing they could do. So, everyone at the small restaurant wished them a soon and safe recovery, knowing they would find a way to make it.

The problem, instead, was that then Cheryl Blossom would have to leave her safe spot by the cash box and cover one of the waiters. And everybody knew the girl could hardly say two words without stuttering or getting tongue-tied.

"_You are gonna be just fine, Cher."_ Pop Tate, the owner of the restaurant, had told her calmly, being the nice man he always was. _"Really, it'll be over sooner than you imagine"_

And although his words hadn´t been entirely true, she had really managed to make it with no problems. Of course, part of it was because mornings at Pop's were always smooth, the clients being mostly Riverdale's elder population simply asking for a re-fill of their cups of tea and coffee. Cheryl knew every single one of them, since most of them were acquaintances of the family, and they all had always had a thing for the _'Blossom's little miracle'_, as they loved to call her.

Still, she knew there were still ten minutes left before her shift finished. And she was almost completely sure that _they _would not take any longer to show up.

And she was right. A few seconds after she finished saving up some bills in the cash box, she heard how the little bells above the main door jingled, followed by the sound of some laughter she was very familiar with. Her heart started beating at the speed of light. _They _were here.

Wiping her suddenly clammy palms on the fabric of her yellow Pop's jacket, Cheryl nervously stared at the pack of teenagers that had just walked inside, taking a seat in a booth by the big window. Swallowing hard, she grabbed her pen and small notebook, ready to approach the group of her horrid bullies.

"_Remember Cheryl, you'll be fine. Just take and bring their order and we'll do the rest."_ Pop told her through the small window connected to the kitchen. As a man that truly cared for her, Pop Tate never missed any of the verbal lashing Cheryl took from them whenever they were around. _"Don't let them get to you."_

"_T-thank you."_ She smiled at him before walking away, now focused on getting her hands to stop shaking.

Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, Cheryl quietly approached them.

"_W-welcome to P-pop's"_ The redhead managed to say with her eyes glued to her notebook. Laughter could already be heard across the table.

"_Oh, look what we've got here…" _Said Reggie Mantle, the brainless jock, as Cheryl and her friends liked to -secretly- call him. _"It's B-B-Blossom."_

Trying her best not to look afraid, she took out the pen from her pocket, ready to write down the order. But her hands never stopped shaking.

"_W-w-what can I g-get for you g-g-u…"_

"_Are you gonna get that sentence out sometime today, Blossom?"_ Veronica Lodge, the meanest of mean girls in Riverdale, said between laughters_. _

"_How about you say it this time without stuttering?"_

"_Oh Sweets, we would have to wait forever for that" _Said Jossie McCoy, Veronica's right hand. _"We don't have all day Blossom, we are kinda' hungry here." _

Once their laughter stopped resonating through her ears, Cheryl found the courage to look up. Reggie, Sweet Pea, Archie, Veronica and Jossie were all there, as usual. Still, something caught her eye, something was out place. There were no longer the classic five teenagers, there was someone else: a girl with brown and pink hair, who was just sitting there with a plain look on her face. Cheryl had no idea who she was, but still, she found her beautiful and intriguing, as if she could not take her eyes off her.

"_H-have you d-d-decided on s-something?"_

"_Yeah, we'll have five chocolate milkshakes" _Said Jossie as she looked at each one of the teenagers to see if they agreed. Then she laid her eyes on the stranger girl. _"And a vanilla one for our girl Toni" _

_Toni. _Cheryl thought. _What a beautiful name._

"_I-I'll be b-back in a m-minute."_

"_Well, you b-better be B-B-Blossom."_

Leaving their laughter and the sound of her hands high-fiving each other behind, Cheryl made her way back to the kitchen. With a shy smile on her face, she gave the small paper to Pop, telling him in a way that there was nothing to worry about. Then, she took off her jacket, revealing her striped sweater and black suspenders, before putting it into her backpack. She checked the time on her wrist watch, glad to find out her shift was now over.

"_Thank you so much, Cheryl. It's good to know we can always count on you, you never let us down" _Said Pop, handing the tray with milkshakes to her. Smiles formed on both their faces. _"Go take over the world, kiddo."_

"_T-thank you, sir. S-see you to-to-morrow."_

Making sure her hands weren't shaking anymore, she made her way to _their_ booth, careful not to trip over her own feet and make a mess. Looking around, she spotted Betty and Jughead, pretty much her only friends, sitting on one of the tables, waiting for her. She gently smiled at them, before shifting back her focus to the pack of hungry teenagers.

"_Here. E-Enjoy yourselves and h-have a n-nice d-d-d-…"_

"_Gosh Blossom, and they let you work here?"_

"_How about finishing a sentence for a change?" _Said Veronicaas she laughed along with her friends. Still, Toni remained there silent, staring at the floor, apparently being the only one who didn't find their taunting funny. That warmed Cheryl heart in a way. _"Why do you even work here, Blossom? Isn't your family like, the richest in Riverdale?_

Now, she was not naïve. She knew and was well aware that she belonged to a wealthy family. She was a _Blossom_, no one ever allowed her to forget that. But her parents were very strict when it came to life, business and money, and since day one she had been told she had to _earn_ her place in the family, by generating incomes and making her own money. As Penelope and Clifford liked to say to her: _'everything a Blossom has is something a Blossom earned'._ So, waking up extra early to take the morning shift at Pop's before going to school was basically her way of proving she was worth a place in her family, as absurd as it seemed.

"_H-have a nice d-d-day…"_ Holding on thigh to the tray, she slowly started to walk away, ready to exit the place with her friends. She was more than used to their mocking, so there was no point in wasting time with them anymore. However, the girl with the pink hair remained trapped in her mind.

"_See you and your retard friends at school, Carrot Top!"_

"_Hey Cher…"_ Betty greeted her friend calmly as soon as she had approached her and, being aware of the taunting the redhead had just faced, she shot her a comprehensive smile.

"_Hi Betts"_ Cheryl replied, nervously holding the straps of her backpack. _"Hey J-Jug…"_

"_God, I hate those jerks, sorry we couldn't do anything about it. We…" _Betty started before being interrupted by Cheryl.

"_D-don't worry, Betts. I'm f-fine, really. It was n-nothing." _Cheryl said as they walked down the street, heading off to Riverdale High.

"_Who was that girl, though? The one with the pink hair…"_ Asked Jughead, frowning his eyebrows. _"I don't think I've ever seen her before."_

"_M-Me neither…"_ Said Cheryl, suddenly remembering the beauty of the girl. _"But her n-n-name is Toni…"_

"_Toni? What kind of name is that?" _Asked Betty with a smile on her face, trying her best not to laugh. Riverdale High could already be seen at the end of the street. _"Well, whoever she is, she is already hanging out with those Neanderthals so, I guess that makes her one of them…" _

"_B-but she didn't laugh…" _Said Cheryl, awkwardly rubbing her forearm with one hand as they entered the school building. She took a deep breath, Veronica's group was probably still at Pop's, so there should not be a reason to be afraid…yet.

"_What do you mean, Cher?"_

"_S-She's not a Neanderthal… She d-d-didn't laugh at me with t-the others…" _

"_I'm afraid we'll have to wait to find out… But anyway, I have to talk to Miss Brooks before class. See you guys at Science Club in a bit?" _Asked Betty, ready to start her way to the History classroom.

"_S-Sorry, but I don't think I-I'll make it in time… P-Principal Wetherbee asked me to step b-by his office…I'm n-not really sure w-what he wants" _Cheryl said, shrugging while the three of them walked down the hallway to their respective places. _"So… I g-guess I'll see you at l-lunch."_

"_See you, Cher." _

"_Here she is! Cheryl Blossom, Riverdale High's brightest student!" _The redhead heard Wetherbee's voice announcing her arrival to his office with excitement. She looked around nervously, surprised to find out the girl with the pink hair was sitting on one of the small couches. Her palms quickly became clammy. _"Cheryl, I want you to meet Mrs. Antoinette Topaz, our new student…"_

The redhead stood frozen in place for a second, not sure what to do or say. _Toni,_ the mysterious girl she saw at Pop's was now in front of her eyes, extending her arm for Cheryl to shake her hand. She was still unable to believe how beautiful the girl was, and the power she seemed to have over her, making her heart beat faster and her knees tremble.

_She's friends with them, Cheryl. That can't be good. _She told herself, hoping her hands weren't as clammy as they felt, before shaking the girl's hand. _But she is just so beautiful…_

"_Nice to meet you, Cheryl" _

_Her voice. _She thought. _My name coming from her lips._

"_N-n-nice to m-meet you t-too"_

"_I was thinking maybe you could show her around, the library, cafeteria, her classrooms… You know, maybe introduce her to your friends…Make her feel welcome, Blossom. Make her feel good." _

Cheryl swallowed hard at his words. He clearly had no idea how things worked in high school social hierarchy. She knew the girl would never want to hang out with her or her friends, especially when she was now part of Veronica Lodge's famous crew, because that was just how things were and had always been.

_But she never laughed._ Cheryl thought again, those words stuck on repeat in her head. _She never laughed._

"…_And t-this one should b-be your l-locker."_ Said Cheryl, pointing to the green locker that was just a couple feet away from hers, once they reached the end of the hallway. She was proud of herself for trying her best not to let her nerves win, otherwise she would not have been able to pronounce a single word. But she was nervous, for sure. Especially when all eyes were on her since she was walking with the new girl in town. However, Toni never seemed to mind her stuttering, she never asked uncomfortable or mean questions, and she never stopped being polite towards her. _"C-classroom 4B is on t-t-the left a-and…" _

"_Toni?"_ Both girls turned around as soon as they heard the different voices and laughter coming from behind them, too familiar for Cheryl not to recognize_. "We leave you alone for five minutes and you start hanging out with… Blossom?"_ The redhead glued her eyes to the floor, awkwardly playing with her feet. _"Jeez Topaz, you really don't know how to pick."_

"_Oh, Cheryl here was just…"_

"_S-She's n-not hanging out w-w-with me." _Said Cheryl, pushing her glasses up. _"I w-was just s-s-showing her around, like p-principal W-Wetherbee t-told me to." _

"_Well, in that case…" _Said Veronica, softly grabbing Toni by the arm, getting closer to her. _"You are done now, Carrot Top. We'll show her the rest._"

Reggie then snatched the two books the redhead was holding to the floor, before kicking them out of her reach. Cheryl sighed to herself, hearing their laughter. Things were never going to be different.

But Toni quickly knelt down on the floor at the same time as her, helping her gather her books. She softly whispered in her eyes the words Cheryl would never forget:

"_Hope we meet again, Cheryl Blossom."_


End file.
